We won't sleep together?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
