Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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