I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
