Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
