HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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