I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
