we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
