He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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