I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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