why didn't you poke me back
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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