he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
