Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
