i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
