Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
