They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
