If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
