goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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