You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
