I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
