when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
