What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
