your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have already put on my inside pants.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
