I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
