I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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