I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
