Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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