dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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