why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
