Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
