Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
