im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
