I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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