yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
