I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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