...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
