i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
