Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
