I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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