I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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