Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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