This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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