I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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