ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
