she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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