For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
