So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
where does the pee come out of this thing
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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