Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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