so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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