I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
