Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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